*I haven't done too many posts for my kiddos in letter style, but as I hope that one day, they'll read (some of) this blog, this post is a special letter to my newly 5 year old big girl*
Dear Audrey,
A few days ago, on April 28th to be exact, you turned 5. I don't know if you realize this, but you are growing up too quickly. I love who you are and the girl you are becoming each and every day, but it seems like only a blink ago, you were a teeny squishy, red faced newborn, swimming in her newborn sized clothes. And now? Now, you're busting out of your size 5 clothes as you grow bigger and taller what seems like every day. I used to pick out the cutest outfits for you, complete with matching bows. These days, though - you call the shots.
Here are you current style/hair dos/don'ts:
Dos:
dresses, especially long, maxi styles
leggings under the dresses as long as they are short (above the knee)
ruffles
sparkles
princess jewelry
jewelry in general - the more, the more fabulous!
your 'gem' shoes (beautifully adorned sparkly ballet flats from Christmas - you wear them SO much, they are actually the ugliest things ever at this point, but you don't care)
Don'ts:
having ANYTHING in your hair - it's a little known fact that Mommy is only allowed to put your hair up in a pony tail, bun, etc. if I bribe you with candy. You are already a skilled negotiator!
jeans
pants in general
socks
pajamas!!! (yes, my dear girl, you sleep in the nude - you have no shame about it)
4 to 5 has seemed like such a big jump in so many ways. On the one hand, I think you aren't all that different than a year ago, but when I really allow my mind to retrace the steps we've taken over these past 12 months, I'm astounded by the little lady you have become. You're more confident in every way, maybe especially in the way you assert your needs (demands!) with Daddy and I. I won't lie - it's super frustrating some times. Would it kill you to just say 'okay' when we ask you to do something?! (apparently, yes??) ;) I know this is an important part of your development, though, and when I allow myself to take a step back and not get so wrapped up in it, it really amazes me how skilled you are with words and negotiation in general.
My sweet Audrey, you are a girl all your own. You march to the beat of your own drum and it's something I never want you to lose. In a few months, you'll go off to kindergarten, and I'll admit that I'm worried what the peer influence may do to your firey spirit over the next few years. I hope you'll continue to let that fire grow and not get too caught up in what others think. This is a gift you already have and I find myself envying YOUR ability to be who you are, despite what others say or think.
I recently overheard a little boy at school telling you, while you were pretending that you were lawn mowing, that "girls don't mow the lawn. Only boys do, like Daddies." and you proudly stated, "Well, my Mommy mows the lawn sometimes and besides that, girls can do whatever boys do. We're all just people and we do what we like." I'm pretty sure I shed a tear right there. You didn't see me - I was just around the corner listening, knowing right then that I MUST be doing something right for my girl to really, just, get it and be able to speak up and appropriately and respectfully assert her views. You really do amaze me, Audrey Christine.
On your birthday, I did a little interview with you - the same interview we did last year when you turned 4. I'm looking forward to hearing how things change for you from year to year! This year seems to be the year of the princess. The feminist in me is fighting that like crazy -- please don't think you need a Prince Charming!- you don't need him (or anyone) to be happy and love who you are. In fact, I can promise you, you're more likely to find the partner for you if you can love who you are first. And, sometimes, after I get all caught up in tirades like that, I remind myself that you're 5 and it's okay if you want to play princess. So, I don't get too crazy (only sometimes). And, I also encourage you to like Merida ;) You know, she's a warrior!!
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| You can purchase the pdf interview here |
Looking at this interview, I just love that your favorite drink is a Shirley Temple. You just had one for the first time this past Saturday, when we went to brunch after your very first acting performance. You love anything that makes life a little fancier, and I find myself wanting to live by your ways a little bit more. You know that just a little bit of fancy can lift a mood and you're always doing that for me!
Sometimes, I'll be getting ready for work in the morning, doing this classic womanly thing that I hope you never do - putting on clothes, giving myself confused looks in the mirror, wondering if it looks okay, contemplating changing, etc. and so forth. All it takes is you popping out of your room and saying, "Mommy, you look SO beautiful. I love your style!" to remind me that 1)I'm taking it all to seriously and 2) I'm always beautiful in your eyes and it goes far deeper than the way I dress. I owe a great deal of perspective to you. You instantly help me to step back and see what matters.
As much as you are growing older and wiser, I love all the ways that you are still soooo very much a kid. Here are some ways that top my list:
-any statement involving the words 'butt' 'poop' or 'toot' sends you into hysterics
-you love to color (this is new!) and spend a lot of time contemplating the perfect picture to work on
-you play so gleefully with your little brother; you LOVE him in a way I couldn't have imagined
-being outside and getting as dirty as possible are among your favorite hobbies
-there isn't a tree you won't climb
-you are super excited about learning to ride a bike and got a new one for your birthday
-you fight going to bed and you wake up early (only a kid would do this, we adults know how precious sleep is)
Before I sign off, my dear girl, let me share a few photos of you from your special day. We celebrate your birthday in a big way - have I mentioned your negotation skills?! You have your Dad and I whipped and we went above and beyond to give you a great day.
It went a little something like this:
- wake up
- open (too many!) presents
- have Dunkin Donuts munchkins for breakfast (your request - jelly filled and chocolate glazed)
- go to Toys R Us to buy a new bike (that's from your Nana & Papa!)
- go to Don Pablo's for lunch (you could live off of chips & salsa - know what? me too!)
- come home to play outside in the back yard for awhile
- I bake you a special pink lemonade cake with lemon cream cheese frosting
- I take you to the Disney Store to pick out a new princess dress (Cinderella!) and you sucker me into buying you jewelry too.. you always do..
- I take you to a carnival(!!!) that's going on at a mall nearby
- You ask for McDonald's on the way home - I say yes
- There's a red box machine in McDonald's - I get you a movie (Rise of the Guardians)
- you come home and have a picnic style happy meal while watching your movie
- The whole family sings happy birthday!!
- you end the night with a big old piece of cake with extra sprinkles, ice cream, whipped cream, and OF COURSE, a cherry on top - your favorite.
Happy Birthday, my sweet girl! Nothing in life has even come close to touching what it means to be your Mommy. It's a never ending, fear inducing, anxiety provoking, often frustrating, but most of all AMAZINGLY REWARDING job and I'm so thankful I get to be YOUR Mommy. I hope you will always know just how loved you are - we'll never stop showing you.
I love you the most,
Mommy
**'I love you the most' is what we say to each other every night when I tuck you in - it's a battle to see who will get in the last 'I love you most' - you almost always do. You're good ;)
