Friday, August 22, 2014

Soon, I'll Have A Lot More Time To Blog...

So, I'll be home a lot more soon and NOT because of maternity leave.  My post doc position, where I've been working for the last year, ends on 9/2.  This is just how post docs go.  Some positions are for 1 year, some are 2, etc.  Mine was 1, so it's coming to a close.

The way things work in grad school are year to year, so this is nothing new to me.  You do a clinical practicum for one year, then move onto the next.  Full-time internship (the last big hurdle) is a year... So, this is nothing new.

What is new?

Not having the next thing lined up.

Normal, for me, means you know what your next gig is months and I mean MONTHS in advance.  Take internship... you found out in February where you'll be starting between July and September.  I secured this post doc position March of 2013 and started in September.  This is NORMAL for us psychology grad school folks.

This real job, real word business is not normal... not my normal at least.

Of course, I've been pursuing future jobs for months now.  There was one I was pretty set on and was told was pretty much a done deal and I was SO excited about that because a) it was the kind of work I wanted to do and b) they didn't seem to care that I'd be starting the job when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant.

But then, most things don't work out as perfectly as they seem and this job was no exception.  I was told a few weeks ago that they wouldn't be doing anymore hiring in that particular department for a whole host of reasons that were out of everyone's control.

No job for me.

On to plan B...

Thankfully, I had other "irons in the fire" (that's the expression, right?) and have been applying for jobs.  I've had one interview so far, more scheduled, and more applications recently filed, but it's becoming increasingly apparent that when my job ends on 9/2, I won't be starting anywhere else on 9/3.  This will be SO WEIRD to me.  I have a lot of friends/family saying "enjoy it" and "relax," but that's awfully hard to do when you're not planning on this kind of break from employment you've got bills bills bills (hello student loans!)

The other strange situation with all of this is that with me being home for who knows how long (could be days, could be weeks, could be until after baby is born), we can't pull the kids out of their childcare situations.  Audrey's in before/after school care and it is HARD to secure those spots.  We don't want to pull her out because, let's say, I start a job in mid-September... then that would have been a terrible idea.

Same thing with Jameson.  I'm pulling him back to part-time once baby girl is born and I'm home on leave, but in the interim, I don't know how long this employment break will last (days? weeks?), so we don't want to pull him out of his difficult to secure preschool spot at a center we just LOVE.

It's funny... I've always said I'd want to be a stay at home mom if I could send my kids to school, like that'd be my ideal situation.  Joking, of course.  But, here I am about to be in that situation.  I'm sure I'll be pulling together some part-time work here and there in the mean time, but man, this is a STRANGE feeling.  I'm trying to roll with it and honestly, I'm considerably less stressed about the whole thing than I was a few weeks ago... time does heal I suppose.

You know what else is strange??!  Interviewing while REALLY, OBVIOUSLY, RIDICULOUSLY pregnant.  Like me.  I've had 2 kids, but somehow managed to avoid that awkwardness until now.  But, I'll save that ranting for another post.

Until then, send some employment vibes my way :)  I know everything will work out - I'll just feel better when things fall into place.  You guys know I'm a ridiculously organized planner, right?  This kind of situation doesn't sit well with folks like me... but that's life, yeah?  And honestly, one thing that has helped me is keeping a bigger picture perspective.  Shaun and I are really blessed.  We are blessed with our health, our kiddos' health, food to eat, a place to live, and wonderful families who are there for us and will help us in any way we ever need.  It's a lot harder for me to complain when I realize that I have ALL that.  I AM a lucky gal.  I'll still take those employment vibes though ;)

- Amber


Lexie Loo, Lily, Liam, and Dylan Too! said...

Everything WILL work out! Best of luck finding a new job, and I hope you enjoy your break at home. XOXO

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